Dear Mr. Hanauer,
About an hour ago, I had a smidgen of hope that this letter
would find you, and there would be a chance, albeit a very small one, that you
would help me out. However, about 5 minutes ago I did some googling and
discovered the catalyst for me even attempting to contact you, was a hoax. To
give you some background I had read an article about his guy Craig Rowin, who
created a YouTube video asking ‘the internet’ to give him a million dollars.
Surprisingly, he received the million dollars from someone. Not so surprisingly,
it was all just made up; something he and his friends concocted because they
thought it was funny. I suppose it would be if it hadn’t given me the idea to
just ask someone, a stranger, for help. An idea I had because I had read that
there are people out there willing to give a guy a million dollars, just
because they asked for it. Honestly, I
should’ve known. However, here I am…writing this to you anyway because I feel
like I have to, regardless of the outcome.
Why you? You will most likely ask? I stumbled across your
article “The Pitchforks Are Coming” in Politico Magazine, and thought maybe
since you understood this immense stratification occurring in America and most
likely contributed to various philanthropic organizations, maybe you would be
willing to help one guy; one guy who at 41 has a very small chance to turn
things around. That one guy is me. (Yeah, I know no surprises there.) So I’m
writing this to you after I watched the Ted Talks video of Amanda Palmer
lecturing on the Art of Asking.
Ok, to frame things up for you a bit. I live in Des Moines
with my partner with whom I am engaged. When I first moved here I had a decent
job making about 60,000 a year. Soon after moving in with Adam, my partner, I
lost my job when I was unable to make it to work during a blizzard. I had
missed a few days earlier that year due to my mother being ill. So, that was
that. After 15 years of working for the same company I was unemployed.
At first I wasn’t necessarily concerned I wouldn’t find
another job. However as the months went on, and after hundreds off applications
I realized without a college education the odds of me getting a job paying
anything remotely close to what I had been making was slim to none.
You’re probably wondering why I don’t have a college degree…or
perhaps you stopped reading this after the first paragraph. I made a lot of
mistakes when I was younger. I had a pretty horrible childhood…I know who hasn’t?
But my mine really was horrid. During the week I was verbally and physically
abused by my stepfather, and a few times a month I was sexually abused by my
grandfather. So at the end of childhood and my teens, I came out at the other
end with horrible self-esteem; thought of myself unworthy of any real love, and
self-destructive. I almost succeeded
with the destruction of self.
Fast forward to my thirties, I had finally accepted the
things that happened to me as a child as not “my fault.” I had worked my way up
in a company from the bottom into Management. I had great insurance, and a
decent 401K…all the luxuries of lower middle class. Hell, I may have stepped
all the way into middle middle class. And then it all fell apart when I lost my
job.
I was able to get a job at a call center for a company that
produces ignition interlock devices. I
started at 15 dollars an hour and pay over 300 dollars a month for the healthcare
plan. I was unemployed about 7 months before getting this job, and during this
time I became increasingly more and more in debt…and this job isn’t really
helping me get out either. I received my annual review with the company last
week and the director told me I was a doing an amazing job and would like to
promote me and give me three employees to work as my assistants. And then he
said he would make me salary and give me a 4% raise.
A 4% raise…that’s for my annual increase and my “promotion.”
I’m 41 and this is the sort of crap I have to look forward to. I will never dig
myself out of debt or be able to afford to have the things I dream of.
What do us 99%ers dream about, you may ask? I’m not sure
about the rest of us…however these are mine.
I’m quite good at photography.
Maybe I sound a bit over confident about that, but it’s true. Photography
however is very expensive if you want to be any good at it: A good camera at
least couple thousand dollars, lenses a couple thousand dollars each, lights, a
nice Apple for editing…etc. I would love to be able to have the equipment to
start my own business.
My fiancé and I would love to be
able to have children. I’m not sure how it works for the 1%ers, perhaps you’ve
found a way to not use a woman to have a child? However the rest of us either
procreate with a woman, and since we’re gay males this becomes very expensive.
We are not opposed to adoption if we can’t go the surrogate route. At this
point, we can’t afford a child, and that breaks my heart. We both want to be
parents...and since I’m the one not making a lot of money have guilt about this
and wonder if Adam would be better off with someone with a better job (Yep, even
after all these years, I still struggle with me being worthy of someone’s love…still
working on that apparently.) Did I mention I’m in my early 40’s? A miracle
needs to happen to turn my (financial) life around if I’m going to be a parent.
I want to be debt free. My debt
feels like such a burden, and it’s bad enough that I have to carry that, but
indirectly it affects Adam as well. He does so much for me financially, and I
don’t want to have to depend on him so. He works in non-profit (Iowa Coalition
Against Domestic Violence) so he doesn’t make lots of money.
Ok, now…the why. The asking part. This is the part I
struggle with the most. First, I would like to say I have no one else to go to.
My father stopped speaking to me about 20 years ago…around the same time I came
out. Perhaps that was just coincidence. My mother is on disability, and is no
place to help me out. We have an odd relationship anyway, I’m not sure she ever
forgave me for when I told her what her father had done to me. She doesn’t
blame me for it happening, but for informing her of it. Twisted, I know. Since I have no family to ask for help, it
only makes sense I would ask a billionaire stranger who I read about in a
couple of articles. I’ve officially hit the rock bottom of desperate...
Here goes…Will you give me a million dollars?
That seems so ridiculous when I read it. It probably is
ridiculous. Why a million you are probably wondering. It seemed like the right
amount that would literally reboot my life. Do I feel like I deserve it? No,
not really…or yes probably. I don’t really know who deserves to have money or
who doesn’t. I feel like at this point luck has more to do overall with being
rich than anything else really. Are the lucky more deserving? Probably not.
Every single person deserves to be happy, and to have a good life, however. And
a lot of terrible things have happened to me that have influenced me to not
care about myself or my happiness. And here I am at 41, and have come to the
realization that I do, in fact deserve to be happy. And I’ve painted myself
into a corner of sorts, and without help have a slim chance of getting out.
I’m a good person who
will do good with the money. It won’t be just about me. It will enable Adam and
me to raise a child; a child who will learn to be compassionate and
understanding and will be a positive influence in the world. A large part of my
photography business will be about giving back. I will offer senior portraits
to kids living in group homes and low income families for no cost, offer
holiday family photos to shelter families for free. I would also do photography for animal shelters
to help get the dogs and cats adopted.
Will you please give me a million dollars? I know you donate
to large philanthropic causes so it may not make sense to help out just one
person. I promise you I will find ways to pay it forward. I just need a kick
start for a new life. Please help me.
If you’ve made it to the end of this…I thank you for taking
the time, and surprised you made it this far.
If you want to contact me my email address is:
Or you can leave me a comment here.
Take care,
Jason Hooten
PS. I realize the odds of finding a billionaire who would be
willing to help me out have odds similar to getting struck by lightning at the
exact moment I win the lottery.
